Hi-Larious "Why's"

My friend Lisa sent me this e-mail. Super funny. I will do a little commentary on some:

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when
they already know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars;
but has to check when you say the paint is still wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? I did ponder for a moment on this one!

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest,
but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? I think it's because if people saw them without the helmet before they went up, they would KNOW that something was going to happen.

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? Hi-larious!!

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Ahhhh! Good one!

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Yes! I would LOVE purple bubbles!

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized? Totally did this last night.

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then
reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?' I always had a fear of this happening in Trader Joe's, and then one day it did. I remember saying, "Ouch!", but do not remember an apology.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table
you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? Maybe they have enough sense to stay out of things. Although, I may have heard a few from the son-in-law point of view.

And my FAVORITE......The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. Oh SNAP!!!! It's me. :(