Monday Kid Quotes

I'm doing 2 kid's camps this summer.  The first one was Peter and the Wolf camp.  It went really well.  Of course you know that I heard a LOT of hilarious kid quotes that week. Well......this week I have another camp (ARKeology) and already I've heard some great kids quotes.  I'm sure I won't get all of them, but allow me to share.

"Life begins when we're out of our comfort zone."

Pretty sure that's going to be my new life motto.  That one came from a 7 year old.....BOY!!!!

Later that day......
Kid: "I can't wait until Wednesday!"
Me: "Why?"
Kid: "New Baby Daddy."
Me: "Ummm, huh?"
Kid: "It's a show on tv."

Oh my! :)

Giving It Another Go

I'm thinking about blogging again.  A lot of goofy things happen to me every day and it's better to blog about them rather than make multiple facebook status updates.  This might also get me away from facebook too.  Most likely it will just be extra crap in my life that I have no time for. :)

Be prepared, though.  This week is another kid's camp and you KNOW I'll have some interesting kid quotes.  Yay!

Waffle House, Belle Meade & The Perch

Friday, April 29th in Nashville (technically Brentwood), TN consisted of 3 events (so far):

1. The Waffle House
2. Belle Mead Plantation
3. The Perch

These are the transcripts of said experiences.....

THE WAFFLE HOUSE
Many people said to avoid The Waffle House, while many others said, "Go for it!" I went for it. It was definitely an experience. It had that small, diner feel to it. Right off the bat people were VERY friendly to me. Then I ordered the strawberry waffle with some bacon and a cup of coffee. Data findings:
1. Coffee: Gross
2. Waffle: Thought it would have strawberries on it, it had strawberry "pieces" in it. It was ok.
3. Bacon: Good.
While I was eating it seemed as if there was a show going on with all the employees. They were talking loud and laughing and then the cook said, "I have that song stuck in my head." I said (quietly from my seat), "Oh please sing it, please sing it, please sing it...." He did!!! Don't know what the song was and he only sang a little, but it was AWESOME!!!!

At the end of my stay, I went up to the cash register to pay. I thanked my waitress and said, this was my first time in a Waffle House. Another waitress overheard me and said, "Oh! You're not a Waffle House virgin anymore! Would you like a hat?" I, of course, did. She wrote something on the hat and handed it to me:If you can't read what it says, I will tell you: "No longer a Waffle House virgin." FYI, she wrote it on BOTH sides for all to see. :) Thanks Waffle House for being AWESOME!

BELLE MEADE PLANTATION
I had heard a few people rave about this place and thought I'd check it out today. So, I grabbed my brochure from the lobby of my hotel and headed out right after Waffle House.This is the lovely brochure with a picture of the mansion on the front. Getting there was pretty easy and quite a beautiful drive. The homes, nay, mansions down the road I drove to get there were GORGEOUS!!! If I were rich and didn't hate the weather here, that is where I'd live.

So I arrive at the plantation and just as I get out of my car, an actual busload of teenage girls get off a tour bus and walk in ahead of me. So much for a quiet, leisure day. Moments later I see about 4 groups of elementary aged kids walking about. OY!!!! Fortunately for me, I was not lumped in with either group. When the people next to me gave a groan about the group of little kids I couldn't help but chime in and groan with them and tell them that I was a teacher on vacation trying NOT to be around children. Those people and I became fast friends. Now for a picture of our sweet tour guide. I LOVED her and she sounded like the sweetest Southern Belle of all times.She is by the door in her lovely hoop skirt and bonnet. :)This is the view from the front porch.
After a great tour (that lady was FULL of intriguing history), we were dropped off in the winery. Hooray! Well, hooray until I started the wine tasting. I have NEVER fancied myself to be a wine snob, but I have to say, living in California gives you a better sense of what good wine tastes like. They did not have good wine there. BLECH!!!!


THE PERCH
After my exciting tour of Belle Meade I drove around Brentwood (where my hotel is) to see what I could see. I spied a VERY cute little crepe restaurant and went in. Here's a picture of my delicious crepe with my yummy coffee.So far a very good day. And all done by myself. That's a little victory! :)

Since You're Not Going To Blog About The Psycho Lady, I'll Have To Blog About Myself

It's only just shy of 11:30 am and already I've got SOOOO much to say.

I'm going out of order with this, but I want to explain my title:

Went to Le Boulanger after dentist appt. (we'll get to THAT in a minute) for some coffee and wi-fi. As I order I pull out my stamp card:
Girl: "Oh, sorry, we're not taking the stamp cards anymore. We stopped those last week and will be going to a plastic card soon."
Me: "You are KIDDING me?!?! So, the stamp cards won't work even if I have one filled? That's crazy! Really? Oh my gosh!"
Girl: "Sorry."
Me: "I'm sorry. I'm sure it wasn't you that came up with this idea. I'm just a little frustrated because it's taken me a long time to gather these stamps and the day I have it all filled I can't use it."
Girl: "Sorry. That's the new policy."
Manger standing next to girl: "It's ok. Just take her card and give her the discount."
Me: "Oh thank you sooooo much! I'm sorry I was so crazy. You totally have my permission to blog about 'The psycho lady' that came into the store today."
Girl: "Oh, I would NEVER do that. I'm not one of those people."
Me thinking this: "I am."

Earlier today at dentist:
I was waiting to see the hygienist and the later it got the more I thought, "I wonder if Stacey isn't here and I'll have to see the 'other' hygienist." My thought was correct. She seemed nice at first and when I said, "Oh are you new? I usually see Stacey," she apologized up the wazoo on how she could schedule me for Stacey next time and she knows how people like certain people.... I told her that I think she misunderstood me, that I just hadn't seen her before.

The next 15 minutes were LESS than pleasant. As she put the chair back she said, "Ready to launch." She turned the light on and said, "Lights, camera, action!" Ummmm.....I think maybe she's REALLY good with kids. :) Anyway, she then lectured me about flossing more and how to do it properly and what not to do and how we're all human when we forget and how we all have things that are difficult but important to do. Then after she said all of that she asked me, "So, does it make sense to you how I told you the way that you need to floss?" I chuckled and said a passive aggressive, "I understand how to floss."

I think the hardest part was when she would bust out with a measure and a half of whatever Kbay song was playing. She did a little "You're the Inspiration", some "Piano Man" and a few others.

Oh my.

Lastly, I want to talk about the men that are sitting about 8 feet from me. They were talking about the Super Bowl commercials. One man was trying to explain the "Darth Vader" commercial. The part that blew me away was when he said, "Now, I've never seen any of the Star Wars movies, but apparently Darth Vader can make things come to life or something." WHAT???????????????????????? There are REALLY people, nay MEN out there who have never seen Star Wars???????????????? Now they're talking about the news and religion and how there are Muslim sects in the US that are getting more powerful and the government thinks we need to watch out for them.

I'm horrible. I know.

My Favorite Kid Story To Tell

This story is WAY better when it is told "out loud", but I will attempt it via written text. I would also like to see if it translates so that I know if I should put it in my kid book that I hope to one day write.

This story is not for the squeamish!!!

This happened about 9 or 10 years ago. I went in to teach one of the 3rd grade classes. As I was writing something on the white board I heard a strange noise coming from the back of the room. It was a loud "shhhhhhhh shhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhhh" sound. I glanced around the room and noticed that one of the girls was blowing her nose. I didn't think much of it except for the fact of who she was. This little girl was a bit odd. She was always doing or saying strange things.

The next thing I see is her taking her hands down from her face. "Oh my gosh!!!" I thought. "The child has no tissue in her hand. She's blowing her nose into her hands!!!!!"

The next part of the story was HORRIFIC. She then looks at her hands and slowly begins to lick them from the palm all the way up to the tip of her fingers. I really thought I was going to throw up. I had to turn around and face the other way. I'm sure I went as white as a sheet. Because she was in the very back of the room nobody saw her but me.



Even writing this, I began to gag. Now, I think this loses something when it's written. It's MUCH funnier when I tell it with the visual SURPRISE at the end. :)